Aspiring
by wanderingsilverrose
Summary: Letting Gaia die without a fight wasn't an option. Being stuck in the Lifestream and not being able to do much sucks, and now the world is still dying, even after Jenova is gone. The effects were long-lasting. And even if we do go back in time, can we really do anything to change it? I want to find out, and without dying exactly like the last time we tried to save the world.


Let's make this part up here quick... I know I've got a ton of unfinished ideas. That's obvious just by looking at the stuff on my flashdrive. Anyway, this is one that's been sitting around on it for ages and bugging the crap out of me. I'm not sure I'll tell it all from first person point of view, though. I had an idea to go along with it, told from another's point of view. (Tempted to just stick with this point of view, though.) All the same, this is a test run and some feedback would be much appreciated. If you've got any questions, also feel completely free to ask. I love talking about my writing.

Rated as it is for future violence and some foul language. Possibly yaoi in the future, definitely yuri later on. Maybe hinted at and mentioned, but no sex scenes.

Prologue

I watched everything on the planet almost grimly. Things weren't going the way they realistically should have, if I were to be so honest. While I knew there was nothing I could do anymore other than watch and wait with the other residents of the Lifestream, I wanted badly to do something. And it wasn't like I was the only one who was unhappy with how things had turned out. The planet was plagued by issues and for all of my friends' and their own friends' efforts, things were only getting worse and worse by the day. It would be a miracle if the planet didn't just completely die soon.

The World Regenesis Organization was doing everything they could to make a difference in the current path of the world. Unfortunately, for all their efforts, they weren't doing quite enough to truly save it for the rest of its' natural timeline. And of course, unfortunately, the planet itself could only do so much to aid everyone the peoples' efforts to save their home. It was agonizing at the best of times for the denizens of the Lifestream, and especially so for me.

Giving up simply watching for a while, I flowed along the currents to find Aerith, who was doing something that looked like mediating. For a bit, I just stayed and watched her, not wishing to disturb her from whatever she was doing. Though it didn't seem to take long for her to notice me there and come out of her present trance to look at me. She gave a sad smile and did the equivalent of standing up and facing me completely.

'So what brings you here from watching everyone?' she questioned.

I sighed—of course she knew what I had been doing. She always knew, because it was her being to know. 'This isn't right,' I told her. 'Things aren't supposed to go this way.'

Aerith gave a longsuffering sigh in response and looked away to nothing in particular. She knew all too well something was wrong. She had been contemplating it for a long time. 'I know, but there is very little we can do now but try to help those still living.'

I thought for a long moment before speaking again. There was something I could think of to do, but there was only so much time to do it in. Upon the rest of us passing from mortal life in this world, it would be time for us all to move on again. We migrated, so to speak, between universes in order to do good for others. Sometimes we played the role of heroes, and sometimes we played the villain. And of course, in this cycle, we had just about finished up with our roles. Before long, we would be moving on to somewhere else—for as much as I knew, back to Reeve's home world. The funny part of that entire thing was that I just been there the last time, and it had been a hectic mess. Something told me I wouldn't have been gone even for a little while like a few years according to that world's timeline, and things were going to be hectic again.

But before then, I wanted to properly help out this world.

'Send us back in time,' I told her. At her suddenly startled look—which surprised me as she should have already known I was going to suggest it—I continued. 'Look we all came here to do something. I don't think we've done enough yet. Your world's in terrible shape, and I know I can't leave until it's better.'

Aerith seemed to think for a moment, but she was uneasy. 'Zack, that's dangerous and you know it… If I send you all back, what happens to your—'

'I think we can all agree that's our only option right now,' I interrupted her. 'I've left other worlds without being able to keep them from dying, and I don't like it.'

'Worlds are replaced,' she reminded me, as if I'd forgotten. I hadn't. 'It's the natural cycle of things.'

'But then that means you won't exist like we know you anymore!' I barely kept myself from snapping completely. 'I don't want that to happen on my watch.'

She gave a weary laugh. 'You're so stubborn… But what do you think you could change if I sent you back? Things are going to go the same way they did before…'

I was, needless to say, shocked. It wasn't like Aerith to act so depressed—she was the serene mother type of being, and I loved that about her. 'This isn't like you,' I quickly stated. 'I'll go for outside help if I have to. You know I'll do it, and as I'm not from this world originally, you can't stop me.'

'Who are you going to get to help?' she asked. 'Other worlds don't generally actively interfere in saving each other much. We know each of us has our span of time and space.'

'Is it against the rules to interfere?'

She paused. 'Well, no…'

'Then I'm gonna do something,' I said impetuously.

'And again, who will help you?' she asked a second time.

In that span of time, I felt downright juvenile and willing to throw a fit for everyone to see. 'I'll get someone!'

As much as it hurt leaving her without letting her respond to say farewell, I took off to another part of the Lifestream. I didn't care what I had to do to keep this world going a while longer. If there was a will, there was a way, and I had a will. I'd played various roles in the past. So if I had to play a different role in the same world upon going back, I would. My twin flame had even less issues than I did with playing a less than savory role in a world. So if—right now a he—they could change roles so quickly, then so could I. I moved to find him.

'Sephiroth!' I called out quickly.

I watched him emerge from wherever he was coming from last. For a moment, I blushed—he looked slightly peeved about something. He raised an eyebrow at me and waited for me to state my business on this matter, as he seemed to know there was more going on. I'd gotten long used to his little social cues.

'Help me find someone who can help us,' I plowed forward without regret. 'I'm not leaving this world without trying even more to help out. I know you want to save the planet, too, after all the fuckery that happened.' Profane language wasn't a norm for me in this life, but what other word was there to use? Fuckery seemed perfectly appropriate at this point. 'Aerith's not very optimistic about me being able to do anything even if she sends me back in time. But if we ask for outside help, I know we can do something!'

Sephiroth seemed to consider this a while. 'Always wanting to be a hero in one way or another…' This caused me to blush. 'Alright, I'm definitely up for more on this one. Who did you have in mind to ask?'

Now I hesitated. 'I was thinking we could ask her…' I put extra emphasis on the word 'her'—Sephiroth would know exactly who I was referring to immediately.

'Shit—her?!' He suddenly looked very wary. 'She never interferes with others, though. I think I'm the only one who has even ever been in her world from the outside. Are you sure she'll help?'

'That's why I want you with me when I ask,' I said. 'Think about what you did there and the impact it had on everything. I bet she'll jump to help you.'

'Fuck, though, I don't even know…' It looked like his face was turning redder than Genesis' favorite coat, were it at all possible. That thing was very red. 'She's such a solitary being. And then who do we ask if she actually says no?'

I narrowed my eyes some and my expression became virtually blank. 'We've got our connections we can ask,' I said just as emptily. 'If all else fails, we can start with our first mortal worlds. They know us very well. I don't think I can count the number of times we've been back each.'

He finally relented. 'We can ask…'

'Hey, trust me,' I went back to grinning, 'I've got a great feeling about this.'

With a nod, he followed me and we made our way to a proverbial edge of our current residence. Before us, a cool wall of cyan green materialized, with ridges and grooves making an interesting pattern. I placed a hand on the wall and focused, tapping into my distinct connection to Sephiroth and then focusing on finding a window the world I was searching for. Thankfully, it didn't take me all that long and the wall became more transparent, sort of. I couldn't exactly see through it any better, but my mind's eye could see in very easily. I was getting through.

'What do you want?' a voice that was neither particularly feminine nor even particularly masculine came through the world wall.

'Yeah, hey, sorry to disturb you…' I trailed awkwardly. 'We wanted to ask for a little help on something.'

There was a moment of unbearable silence, and Sephiroth decided to speak up. 'We, uh, need a favor from you…'

Figured—he could be downright terrible at asking for help at times. 'Look, this world is in a serious mess, and we're already dead again. There's not a lot we can do, and we only have so much time left before we have to move on again. Well, sort of. Time may not be exactly linear, but we still are going to have to get moving soon…'

The being on the other side gave an exasperated sigh. 'Seriously, you're asking me? What do you expect me to do from here?'

Sephiroth seemed to regain his bearings a little, given that this was probably his first time since that time talking with the woman again. Though, technically, she was never either gender in mortal lives to begin with. 'We'd like you to send us some reinforcements, basically. This one—' he gestured to me, 'doesn't want to leave this world hanging the way it is. And I can't really blame him.'

'Oh, my god,' she sighed in exasperation. 'You guys can't handle saving this world on your own?'

I winced at the tone and cutting words. 'This world was all fucked up when we got here, and I became attached. I don't want to see it and Aerith and everybody else get replaced with a new world. 'Cause at this rate, that's what's gonna happen.'

She seemed to glare at us. 'You know, there's a reason I keep to myself, right? Go ask that old bat for help if you really think you need it.'

'We also need help convincing Aerith to even send us back in the first place,' said Sephiroth.

The reclusive woman debated for a very long moment to the point I began fearing she'd say she wouldn't help out this once. 'Well, technically speaking, I do owe one of you a favor… I guess it can't hurt to help out a little.'

'Thanks—' We both started, but we were stopped quickly.

'Do not, under any circumstances, expect me to help you all willy-nilly after this one. I have my own world to look after.'

I raised my hands in surrender. Despite her being in an entirely different world as its caretaker of sorts, I really didn't want to argue with and test her limits. 'Got it.'

* * *

Kunsel and I made our way through the halls of the building we were now staying in, laughing at some crack I'd just made. It had been a very long, stressful year of training and examinations, but we had finally made it through. We were now two Soldiers Third Class headed for our four-man bunker. He was taking things in stride and not really looking as ecstatic as I knew he really was, but I was practically bouncing off the walls along the way. I had heard we and someone else were being placed with a seasoned Third Class, and I really couldn't wait to meet him.

My friend finally gave a small groan, catching my attention. "I hope whoever this guy is, he's not an ass or anything. Either of them, actually."

And he had a very good point in bringing this up. Still, my expression fell a little. "Ok, yeah, same here. But even if they are, we still survived six other dicks to get here, not to even mention our drill sergeants… Two more won't be a problem."

"You know what I heard, though?" Kunsel was suddenly walking backwards with his stuff right in front of me. I really hoped he didn't run into some asshole Soldier by accident. Not even one day in and already making enemies was not going to look good for future reviews. "That other Third we're moving in with is a bit of an oddball."

My eyebrows crept up some. "Really?" Odd, I could deal with. That was actually nothing compared to total dickery. "Did you hear anything else?"

Kunsel just shook his head and turned back around. Which was good, because I was already about to do that for him. "Not really, just that he was odd."

An idea suddenly popped into my mind and a wide grin formed. "Big muscle-y dude with a collection of plush toys, maybe?"

This made Kunsel snort, laugh, and nearly drop his bags. "Ok, that would be hilarious."

Eventually, after chattering down the hall about what our seasoned Third Class bunkmate would be like, we stopped at a door with the number '104' on it. I wasn't really all that superstitious, but I'd heard some people from Wutai considered four an unlucky number because it looked or sounded like the word for death—kind of like how most of this part of the world was somehow convinced thirteen was a very bad number. I found it absolutely hysterical. What could possibly be so terrible about a simple number? Just to jab at others' silly superstitions, I'd claimed thirteen as my all-time favorite. Four was about to become the second all-time fave.

I gave a loud knock on the door and waited for a response. Despite having picked up the nickname 'Puppy' somewhere along the year for my exuberant personality and slight tendency to bounce nearly everywhere almost senselessly, I was raised to be courteous. Mom would have had my hide if I walked in without knocking at least first, and then I'd have heard about it from Dad. And they still weren't thrilled with me or Ember for us sneaking me out here to Midgar. So it was better not to give someone a reason to snitch on me and write to them about it.

We heard a, 'Come in,' and just looked at each other for a moment, shrugging some. The guy sounded decent enough, and there was probably a reason he wasn't coming to the door to open it for two potentially loaded Soldiers. It was possible he was busy moving his own things around some, especially as there were also sounds of things being put places, too.

I opened the door to see what I had figured—mostly. Someone was in there organizing their things almost anally. Whoever this person was, it was obvious they highly valued a clean home. The one thing that had caught me—and presumably also Kunsel—off guard was the person's appearance. It was difficult to tell he was even a man in the first place. His frame was surprisingly willowy, and then his hair was, one, longer than most men's hair was, and two, pulled up in what looked like twin buns with tails. It looked like it took a while to do.

He looked at us as we shut the door and gave a small smile. Suddenly, my head started to pang, which was odd, because it was only the right side that science classes had indicated was the logical side of the brain. This had only happened a handful of times in my entire life. I could seriously count them on one hand. The first time had been when my little sister was born. It was a shock, because supposedly Mom was only supposed to be able to have one child—me. It happened again later when I took the physical exam to get into the Soldier training program and I met two of the scientists. And now there was this guy. Every time it happened, I got the strange sensation that my life was going to change dramatically. It never failed to happen.

"You must be Zack and Kunsel," he said, suddenly dropping very surprisingly unceremoniously what he'd been holding just a moment ago.

"Uh, yeah," I got out less than intelligently. "What about the other—"

The man gave a briefly sour expression. "He had a few issues, and went to the housing authorities."

The next less than intelligent thing I got out was, "Oh." Kunsel played it smart and kept his mouth shut.

"I'm Jaden," he introduced.

"Yeah, uh, I'm Zack," I said. "That's my best bud, Kunsel." I gestured to the dark-haired man beside me.

Jaden watched us for a moment before rubbing the back of his neck almost sheepishly. "Someone told you that you were living with a weirdo, didn't they?"

I looked to Kunsel, who just grimaced a moment before turning very sheepish, himself. "He heard a rumor about you being an oddball, and only just told me," I decided I might as well say. "But as long as you can hold your own, I don't care what kind of weird hobbies or lifestyles you've got." I looked at Jaden with a wide grin. "Life's a hell of a lot more fun with weirdos around."

Kunsel snorted again at my statement there at the end. "Zack, you're a weirdo."

Jaden seemed to relax. "The only 'weird' thing about me is my clothes and hairstyle, and I don't think it's weird at all. It's just that not enough people see it that way."

I gave a small laugh. "Hey, as long as you don't suddenly try to make me wear a dress for no reason, I'm good." A playful grin formed, I was certain. "But if we're drinking and taking dares… That might be a different story," I decided to joke. Jaden laughed and Kunsel snorted, so I guess the joke went over well. Then again, though, it might actually be a lot of fun if I was drunk.

And then Jaden had this coy grin going on. I hoped he didn't seriously plan on getting me drunk just for that. "I'll keep that in mind." This gave Kunsel his own grin, like I had just volunteered to be someone's amusement for a night. "At least living with you two won't be too bad."

I laughed again. "Hey, we're not here to make enemies." Oh, yeah, this was going to be very interesting from here on out. I just hoped I survived it.


End file.
